Missed my last post? Read Part 4 where I discuss that this isn’t the fault of the Highly Sensitive Woman. And the need to get out of that kind of relationship.
Getting away and removing yourself from the situation is the first step. Beginning to heal by slowly unplugging (mentally/emotionally) from his energy is the second step. There are many steps after that to begin to rebuild yourself, re-ignite your own flame, and finally start to fan your natural innate fires. Please don’t give up! There is hope for a new and beautiful future, as dozens of my highly sensitive clients, as well as myself have found and succeeded at rebuilding their lives.
Forgiveness … not yet!
A large percentage of my Highly Sensitive Women clients will say very quickly “it’s okay, I have forgiven him!” Your hearts are so large and deep, forgiveness comes very naturally to you. This is a very admirable quality but it will sabotage your will to leave. Many months of therapy may be needed before you will be strong enough to allow this forgiveness safely. Fight the impulse for now because forgiveness of his wounds and scars will punch an immediate hole through your new and tender strength to get away from this person and situation. Please trust me on this point. I will talk about potential forgiveness at a later time.
Needless to say, if you have children, the situation is always more complicated. However, there are people and professionals out there that are there to help you make a plan and see it through. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are thousands, if not millions, of women who have gotten away from such soul-draining scenarios.
Make Sure You’re Safe
Call 911 or get away if you even suspect you may be in danger when you think about moving out or escaping from further emotional abuse. Even if it’s not physical abuse, it can easily escalate to that point when you try to leave him. Don’t downplay these very real instincts to save yourself by getting out.
You will know deep in your heart if I’m describing your situation. Don’t talk yourself out of it! Listen to your gut, your intuition, your Higher Power, even if you can scarcely feel her Light or hear her voice any longer. She is in there begging you to rescue your Self. You have this one life to live and you deserve to live it in joy and freedom from abuse.
It is not too late! You’re not too old to start again. Don’t stay with him out of fear that you’ll never find anyone better (even though he’s told you that many times!). There are many wonderful men out there just waiting to meet a woman like you! Kind, gentle, genuinely giving, selfless men just dying to find a woman as wonderful as you!
Too Good to Be True
However, be forewarned, whatever wounds of your own that have attracted this emotionally (and sometimes physically) dangerous type of partner will need to be addressed in therapy and serious self-care. If not, 99% of the time, an HSW will easily meet a new narcissist to rescue her exactly when she needs another knight in shining armor. If he seems too good to be true at first, he may very well be. That is often the telltale sign of a narcissist in hiding … he just seemed too good to be true.